Nuts about God!

Monday, 3 May 2010

The day I met my biological dad

That is a day I would not forget in a hurry. We had gone to Caledon previous times and had not been successful in contacting him as we didn't know where he lived or if he was married. My mom couldn't remember where the farm he used to live on was. I had been nagging at her since I turned 18 because I felt now was the time to find him. sometimes I look at kids without dads and feel heartbroken at them not knowing what life would be like with a dad's touch,words of comfort,discipline. I wish I had a dad who scolded me when I came home late or to cover up for me when I didn't mean to do anything wrong,or hold me on his lap if things didn't go according to plan. Its a heavenly blessing to have a dad in you life and dad should be treasured and loved as well as mom. I remember being determined not to one day have kids with a love-and-leaver. But with a gentle,caring,compassionate and loving husband(not boyfriend). God has blessed me with all that and more! Okay,let me not dwell off my original story(meeting my dad).
We went to mom's uncle's house,who took us to my dad's brother's house(who was ecstatic to see us after all the years)he in turn took us to meet my dad.(My twin sister didn't want to go cause she was upset that he didn't look for us) I remember my mom had us write letters every year(when we passed a grade,lost a tooth,christmas,birthdays etc)to our dad and she would say she will post it,but she kept it as she didn't know where he lived. We only found out years later. My dad was in his house when we got there and I thought that he must be married by now,how would his wife feel about us? All these thoughts racing through my head. When he came out he looked so shocked to see me that at first he didn't know why all these people were standing outside his door. He finally saw my mom and it registered who I was,he later told us that he knew there were two of us and he thought I looked familiar. He started crying and my mom said "meet your daughter". Let's just say it was an emotional day. I sat on his knee and looked into his eyes forgetting all I wanted to ask and just thinking how this man looked like me. I wanted that moment to last forever(imagine a 19 year old sitting on dad's lap!) He wasn't married after all and didn't have any other kids. He says not a day went by without him thinking about us. He had even kept all our dolls and toys. Looking at him that day I didn't see a love-and-leaver, I saw a broken soul, lost because his only children were lost. We went to visit once after that day and the end of May 2010 we're going again. I'm so exited! My baby looks just like him(blond hair,green eyes). He is going to meet our younger kids for the first time. My sister met him the second time and completely forgot any anger(we camped on his farm in 2007 for easter) we couldn't stop talking,hugging,just being together.
So all mums,the day you leave a man,don't keep the kids from their dad's,you're doing more harm than good,they will resent you,when I think of all the times I resented my mom for taking us away from our dad,and keeping us away from him,I do not wish it on anyone. Children must see their fathers,don't let your differences hurt the kids. Not all stories have a happy ending. Love: Me(mwah!)
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My life continued.....

I met my dad for the first time when I was 19 years old. I remember as soon as I started realizing other kids had mom's and dad's,I wondered where mine was and if I had one? In my family such things are not mentioned except by adults. My gran was mother and father,my mom was working and when she wasn't working,they(aunts etc)were partying. She wasn't a bad mother she was just a young mother. I can remember my gran taking us to the beach and my mom and friends were still sleeping from a hangover and my sister and I would ask her for money,now they had a habit that when they came in from a night out,they would empty their pockets of all change and would throw it in a tray. If we were good,then mom would give us pocket money from the tray. This particularly hot day as we were heading for the beach we asked mom if we could have the change. Still. Sleeping she replied " ah-huh". Man,I'm telling you,did we collect ALL that change. We had a wonderful day at the beach with just a little over R150,we ate till our tummies felt like bursting. In those days that was a lot of money and we had food,ice-cream,cream doughnuts etc. My gran didn't think to question us as she knew that we had asked our mom. When we went home, my mom and uncle were looking for coke bottles to give to the shop in exchange for a cold cool drink to nurse their hangover. Mom couldn't remember what had happened to their change....
My gran burst out laughing!, as she had heard my mom say "uh-huh".
On the farm we lived we had good times, we used to swim in the dam with the farm kids and play on the farm between rows of spinach.
One day one of the farm girls wanted to break off my barbie doll's head and she pushed me, refusing to be bullied I bit her on the shoulder and ran home. When I got home I told my mom what had happened and her boyfriend went to straighten them out.
I remember my sister and I throwing the farm kids with stones and not missing one,because they had called us "arm boere". We were sensitive over our skin color as we were the only whites. If you read my previous blogs you would know that my mom is colored and my dad is white. On school I remember running to church break times to go and eat soup,they made the best soup ever! This girl has since turned into Gudgirl,God has erased the bad girl in me. Thank you for reading this,stay tuned for more and feel free to leave a comment.
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